You Don't Need to Bother
by Torchie
Summary: X/L songfic. PG-13 because... well... if I told you anymore, it'd ruin the story... ^-^ So you'll just have to read and find out, ne? R&R, please! Oh, and I know I reposted this several times, but that was just because I had to reformat it... --;


Torch: Halo! Yes, I do know that there is a bit of OOCness... mainly to fit them better into the song. Oh, and I'm going with the rumor that Xelloss used to be a human before he became a mazoku. Read it, live it, love it, learn it. then review it! ^-^  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers... I own nothing... no money = no own ;_;  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Lines from the song  
  
***Flashback***  
  
"Speech"  
  
'Thought'  
  
@~^~ Scene change  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He huddled on the floor, looking out the window. The rain turned the sky dark as the angry clouds stormed in. Trickles of water left streaks on the glass, their shadows following the same pattern as the streams of tears on his face.  
  
His hair gently brushed his shoulders as he shook ever so slightly. A few strands stuck to his face, attracted to the wetness. Tears rolled down from his arms, staining the plain wood floor. The salty tears burned in the open wounds. If he could bleed, the blood and tears would have mixed together. A sharp knife lay beside him.  
  
Wish I was too dead to cry  
  
My self affliction fades  
  
The wounds healed so quickly. he had given up trying and had had to be satisfied with the small wounds he could keep open.  
  
Why'd he have to agree to become what he was? He hated it... no one could love him. He wasn't supposed to be able to love either, but... but all that changed when she had come along.  
  
Her fiery red hair matched her fiery temper. Her occasional seriousness... the way she looked so innocent in her sleep. images of her were burned in his eyes...  
  
Stupid master. Why'd he agree to let her turn him? Now he could never claim his fiery sorceress's heart... he couldn't even keep the pain because he healed so damn quickly...  
  
Stones to throw at my creator  
  
Masochists to which I cater  
  
"Xelloss-san?" Amelia stuck her head in the doorway. "We're going to the market. Do you want to come?"  
  
"..."  
  
"Xelloss-san?"  
  
"No."  
  
"All right..." Amelia's eyebrows tilted together in concern. "Are... are you okay?"  
  
"Fine..."  
  
You don't need to bother  
  
I don't need to be  
  
I'll keep slipping farther  
  
But once I hold on  
  
I won't let go 'til it bleeds  
  
He picked up the knife and wrapped his hand around the blade. Squeezing the sharp metal, he opened a wound... no blood came out. He cursed once more in his frustration.  
  
'Why am I doing this?' he asked himself. 'It's not like it matters. I could take her if I wanted...'  
  
*************  
  
"Gourry?"  
  
"Huh, Lina?"  
  
"Are you and Sylphiel..."  
  
"Yeah," the blonde swordsman said. Lina's face dropped, and he continued, "We're really good friends!"  
  
Lina glanced up, relief on her face. "Just like us?" she whispered hopefully.  
  
"Just like us," Gourry replied, oblivious. "Ne... why?"  
  
Lina blushed. "Unh..."  
  
"Go on, Lina-san," Amelia encouraged. Lina nodded and mumbled something.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I... I love you, Gourry..." Lina said softly before fleeing.  
  
Xelloss's heart had dropped, but he'd kept his happy face plastered on. "Oya oya," he commented, trying to keep his tone even. "Seems that Lina does have a heart."  
  
"Couldn't you be serious for once?!" Zelgadis turned to glare at him.  
  
*************  
  
That chimera didn't realize how serious Xelloss had been on the inside... Xelloss felt so confused for once in his life.  
  
Wish I was too dead to care  
  
If indeed I cared at all  
  
He loved her... why?!?! Shouldn't a mazoku be free from the silly emotions of the human heart? And yet, his heart pounded when she was around, something he hid easily with his teases.  
  
He could tell from the day they all started traveling together that she liked that big, blonde swordsman. He thought she would have better taste and at least have fallen for Zel... now he was worthy of her emotions. The chimera's excessive hate and anger fed Xelloss to the full... which was ironic since the chimera hated him so much.  
  
Xelloss also fed a little off Lina, but he took no pleasure in it anymore... which brought him back to the question of why Lina wasted her love on that stupid jellyfish brains. Did she like his strength? Xelloss was strong, just not in the way Gourry was.  
  
Never had a voice to protest  
  
So you fed me shit to digest  
  
She would never love him. The thought struck Xelloss full blast, and another tear slid down his cheek.  
  
"Damn," he muttered, glaring down at his hands. He had given up and threw the knife aside. It slid across the floor and stopped when it hit the wall. "Damn it all..."  
  
For the billionth time he wondered why he'd fallen in love with Lina. He'd always known she'd surely choose Gourry... so why did his heart ache so when he saw her glance at the tall blonde?  
  
...Did he tease her too much? Was he so disgusting she hated him? Questions tugged his mind. Had he made a mistake becoming a mazoku? No... and yes. No, if he'd not become one, he would never have met her... and maybe that was the whole reason why it had been a mistake. He had never thought of it that way before.  
  
I wish I had a reason  
  
My flaws are open season  
  
For this I gave up trying  
  
One good turn deserves my dying  
  
He couldn't kill himself. Well, he could, but it wouldn't involve the agonizing physical pain he ached for. The pain he felt inside was far worse than any anyone could inflict outside.  
  
"Xelloss!"  
  
The high pitched voice of an angry sorceress wafted through his door. He could hear her mounting the stairs. Soon, she burst open the door and stepped in, hands on hips. "Why didn't you tell us this town didn't like magic?! They kicked us out of the buffet because I fireballed some idiot who pushed in front of me...!"  
  
"..." He didn't answer, but watched the rain pour down, his back to Lina.  
  
"Xelloss!"  
  
He was half curled into a ball, with is knees touching his chin and his arms wrapped around his legs.  
  
A tick mark appeared on Lina's forehead. "How dare he ignore me," she muttered, starting towards him, intent on giving him a 'lesson' about ignoring Lina Inverse. She stopped when she saw the glint of the knife across the room.  
  
"Xelloss?!" She walked to the knife and pulled it out of the wall. "What...?"  
  
He shook his head. She didn't need to know. She may feel sorry for him, which would only make matters worse.  
  
"Answer me!" She put a hand on his shoulder and quickly pulled back when she felt something wet fall on her hand. "Xelloss, are you crying?"  
  
"..." He ignored her question, and instead, asked weakly, "How are you and Gourry?"  
  
"Huh?" Lina blinked. "He... he doesn't love me... not in the way I love him..."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Xelloss, are you okay?" He was probably scaring her. How great.  
  
"I'm fine, Lina." He sighed softly to himself, then stood, his back still to her. With a soft, "Ja," he phased out, leaving her standing there, confusedly looking at the blank space before her.  
  
"Xelloss..."  
  
You don't need to bother  
  
I don't need to be  
  
I'll keep slipping farther  
  
But once I hold on  
  
I won't let go 'til it bleeds  
  
"Xelloss."  
  
"Yes, Zelas-sama?"  
  
"You have feelings for this girl, Lina."  
  
It was a statement, not a question. Xelloss cringed inwardly. He nodded once, swiftly.  
  
"Baka. She will not love you."  
  
He nodded again, acknowledging the fact.  
  
"I thought you were supposed to be my priest acting general." The words were harsh. He remembered her telling him that he would have to kill Lina sooner or later... she posed a threat to the mazoku.  
  
*************  
  
"You are to kill her, do you understand?"  
  
"Yes, Zelas-sama."  
  
"Do not fail me. She is a threat."  
  
"Do not worry, Zelas-sama."  
  
*************  
  
He had failed. She would have killed him for it, too, if he hadn't been her only priest/general. Now, he knew she was going to assign him something else, and almost dreaded it.  
  
"You will kill, then, the swordsman."  
  
His head snapped up. She gazed down at him as she repeated, "You will kill the swordsman Gourry."  
  
"Yes, Zelas-sama."  
  
Wish I'd died instead of lived  
  
A zombie hides my face  
  
Now, in his secluded house of sorts, he lay on the bed, remembering. Remembering the time when he'd worked with Lina to defeat Darkstar. He had loved her even then... his dangerous, deadly face had hidden it even from himself. He had had to concentrate on something else then. With nothing else to think of presently, he couldn't help but see Lina's every move in his mind's eye.  
  
He pulled out a small book. Opening it, he leafed through the many pages. Poems, confessions, letters, memories, quotes-all these things were compiled into the small book. They were things telling of his love, things he'd never show anyone.  
  
"How stupid." The book sounded like something someone like Amelia would make for Zel. He hurled the book into the fire in the hearth, watching as the pages slowly turned to ash.  
  
Shell forgotten with its memories  
  
Diaries left with cryptic entries  
  
Xelloss phased back to the inn where Lina and the others were staying. He put on a fake grinning face, one just like the face he usually had when encountering others, the mask to keep them from seeing that he was a mazoku.  
  
"Well, well, Zelgadis," he chirped upon his appearance behind the chimera. The body of the pebble skinned man twitched as he turned to face Xelloss.  
  
"Why, you..." he growled. Xelloss opened one eye teasingly, and for a second Zel saw the concealed sadness, and was surprised.  
  
"Are... are you... okay?" Zel asked hesitantly, hand still on the hilt of his sword.  
  
"Of course, Zelly-chan," Xelloss replied. Before Zel could respond, the purple haired fruitcake phased out.  
  
"Hmm..." Zelgadis murmured, unconvinced.  
  
And you don't need to bother  
  
I don't need to be  
  
I'll keep slipping farther  
  
But once I hold on  
  
I won't let go 'til it bleeds  
  
Xelloss reappeared inside Gourry's room. The swordsman was cleaning his sword, back turned to Xelloss. 'This is too easy,' Xelloss thought. "Gourry!"  
  
"Huh?" The blonde turned. "Oh, Xelloss." After a moment, he suddenly added, "Oi! What are you doing here?"  
  
"Just thought I'd visit you," Xelloss answered lightly. "I heard you and Lina weren't getting along so well."  
  
"No, we're still friends. I couldn't believe she loved me, though. Must have been a joke..." He looked thoughtful.  
  
Xelloss, who had ended up on the floor via face fault, got up slowly. 'He's as stupid as he is big...' he thought. 'Doesn't he realize Lina would never joke about that? This is pointless... he's too brainless to get any negative emotions out of.'  
  
"Maybe," Xelloss agreed blandly, stepping closer to Gourry. He slowly leaned down to be face to face with the swordsman.  
  
"Oi... what are you doing?"  
  
Xelloss opened his violet eyes, a look of deadly seriousness settling over him. In one swift motion, he pulled the sword from Gourry's hands and struck him with it. The metal blade moved easily through his chest. Gourry dropped to his knees, his eyes glazing over in pain. "How...?"  
  
As he watched the swordsman suffer, he knew Lina would fall into a depression once she found out. If she found out that it had been him... he shook his head. A job was a job.  
  
"Gourry?" Lina burst into the room just as Gourry slumped to the ground, landing with a loud thud. "Gourry!!!" She ran over and tried to lift him up. She checked his pulse... dead. Tears filled her eyes as she wailed a resounding, "NO!!!"  
  
It was after her cry that she took note of Xelloss's presence. "How... how... HOW COULD YOU?!?!?!" She stood, eyes shaded. She advanced towards him. He stayed in the same place, watching her.  
  
"...FIRE-" Lina choked, tears falling from her eyes. Xelloss caught her as she collapsed onto his shoulder, sobbing. "You baka mazoku!" She pummeled his chest. "How DARE you!" Xelloss was silent for once, and a single tear fell from his eyelash onto Lina's cheek as she yelled, "And I thought you were a friend! Here I was, feeling sorry for you, when I found you earlier! But it was a ploy, wasn't it?!"  
  
"Lina..."  
  
"WASN'T IT?!"  
  
"...No, Lina-san..."  
  
Lina pushed herself away from him. "You're lying!" She ran from the room, face buried in her hands.  
  
@~^~  
  
"Xelloss-san?"  
  
"...What, Amelia?"  
  
"It... it's Lina-san. She... she killed herself. We... we... we found her body this morning..." The princess's eyes were bloodshot from tears.  
  
The rain turned the angry sky dark as the angry clouds stormed in. Trickles of water left streaks on the glass, their shadows forming the same patter as the streams of tears on Xelloss's face...  
  
You don't need to bother  
  
I don't need to be  
  
I'll keep slipping farther  
  
But once I hold on  
  
I'll never live down my deceit.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Torch: So very angsty!  
  
Amelia: Why did you make Lina-san kill herself?  
  
Lina: Yeah, why?!  
  
Torch: It goes with the plot. it has more of an affect that way.  
  
Zel: I would never be sympathetic towards that-  
  
Xelloss: Konnichiwa, Zel-kun! ^_^  
  
Zel: . Get away from me!  
  
Xelloss: *looks hurt* But Zelly-chan, don't you remember-  
  
Torch: *cough* Okay, that's enough from you two. ^^; Review, okay? Please?  
  
Lina: Maybe if you don't review, she won't torture us anymore.  
  
Torch: Not a chance. So review, okay? ^.^ Arigato gozaimasu!!! 


End file.
